Pet therapy

Better late than never. I have had 6 months of puppy therapy. The best medicine! It is amazing how caring for a little being can make you fell so whole. Chloe came to us on Jan 3 as a gift from Rob. My friend from Springville Christy Dusenberry breed her Shih tzu Daisy. I got one of her 6 puppies. Christy told me if she could keep one she would keep Chloe. So I put my dibs in.

She has a great demeanor. She loves people and children and all dogs. I have heard her growl only when she's is play tug o' war with Lucy the 90 pound box, her gal pal from work.

I love her, she's my little buddy! We ride to work together, she sits in a little wicker basket on he back of my bike. I get a lot of smiles from passers by that notice her sweet eyes poking out . She is loved by all , most by me. Thank goodness for Heavenly Fathers wonderful creatures.

TO CUTE! I had to share it with you all! IT is kind of weird how this doesnt only affect just me now but my neices, my friends girls. Something to think about.

My Birthday wishes

September 30th. For all of you to have good health happiness and joy! Im so grateful for my friendships family relationships! Im grateful for a new out look on life and a zest for change. I have been doing a lot of research of books to read and things to learn I have attached a wish list on amazon.com. You are welcome to get some ideas for yourselves as well as great gift ideas, he he.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wishlist/2IU0RQGU1Y3HD

Giving back

On September 1st, I attended a speaker presentation about health in the Sun Valley inn. When it was over there was time to chat and socialize. My Friend Ellen introduced to a women. I immediately recognized her because she was carrying a pink 3 ring binder. That was me! Clutching my pink binder full of all my pathology reports, print offs about my doctors and description of my cancer, in hopes that knowledge would somehow cure me. She had just been diagnosed with breast cancer 2 weeks prior. We talked at length and I got a sense that she was a lot like me, ready to handle most anything. Two days later we met for dinner and Lisa told me all about her journey but mostly she wanted to hear about mine. It felt so good to finally be on the other end, to talk about my past and not the horror of the present. During dinner I found out she changed her mind about reconstruction because of our prior meeting. She was not going to do it, she saw how well I was doing and changed her mind. Lisa’s closest friends was putting together a fundraiser for her. She asked me to speak in her behalf because she would be recovering form the mastectomy at the time.
On Sept 21st a estimated 700 people showed up at the Sun Valley river run lodge for a live and silent auction, Michael Murphy comedy show, and dancing with a live band all night long. Lisa’s mother and brother Larry was there. Larry got to speak in behalf of the family and I was able to speak in behalf of Lisa. I silenced the whole house to tell them how much Lisa adored this community how blessed she and I felt to be a part of it. I called on all the breast cancer survivors to come on the stage as well as all of Lisa’s friends who helped put the event on. Lisa’s mom passed out beautiful pink roses to all the women. About 7 survivors showed up. It was great! We began to dance the night away.
My date, Janet Evans, was so great! We wore pink feather boas and boogied like we didn’t care. Lisa told me later that many attendees felt my speech was the highlight of the evening. I’m just grateful that the message was received. Lisa and I are survivors; this is just the beginning of the battle and there is a lot more liven to do. We feel blessed that we have friends and family to support us on the journey.

Home again!

I came home on the 14th to this! With PINK ribbons and Yellow balloons streamed all over our condo. my very good friends Teresa and Jill used the excuse that they were "watering" our plants to sneak in. CUTE
What a blessing to finally be home. Ketchum has been a peaceful and beautiful retreat. Clean clear crisp sky's. Green every where. You come here and you take a deep breath. Its good to be here again. I also have loving surrogate parents John and Wanda Vladimiroff, Sun Valley Adaptive sports family and a church congregation- Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, that met us with open hearts and arms.
On the first Friday night I was back to work. The SVAS crew was up at Pettit lake on a private rustic cabin(s) resort. 7 wounded warriors and their spouses have been spending three days learning water-sports and processing their lives with recreation. I get to meet, eat, and soak in the therapy with the rest of these giants. Could I be more blessed! What a way to come home, but I don't show them my battle wounds of course!
The next night Rob and I were invited to go the professional Sun Valley resort ice skating show with the warriors. Again, wonderful time to connect. I talk to "Bob" for 30min about his mission and how he was injured. I hear about him trying to save his buddy who died in his arms. The constant movie showing in his head every time he goes to sleep at night. Again I feel like I have had it too easy, a sort of survivors guilt. I'm want to stop feeling this way. I also talk to my breast cancer friend on the phone shes my age. She been out form her first diagnosis for 10 years. Its all through her bones and organs. Shes hopeful, I'm too. But I still feel like because I didn't have to do the worst, Chemo, radiation, I have nothing to give her. Its not fair to her. I cant help feel the way I do. I am praying for her now. Please do too. Her name is Shauna Ross.
I start Tamoxifen on Monday. We will see what the side effects are.

The boob bomb is out!

We went to the Plastic surgeon today and they pulled the drain. The drain was placed during surgery to suck out all the inflammation fluids that were collecting at the mastectomy site. So for 12 days I had a plastic tube with bulb, that looks like a grenade, at the end that entered under my arm pit and went under the skin, down my left side, under my expander. I'm sure glad it was there, but glad it is out. I cant imagine all that fluid just being stored in my body without it. that would have hurt! I usually output 40 cc (4 Tbl spoons) a day for the first 9 days. The nurse Viki who pulled it out said my comfort level would get better. She was right, pain is a lot better now. I still feel when I bump my "breast" or wear something too tight I feel like, when your leg is asleep and you try to wake it by letting blood flow back and you happen to bump it. OOOUCH! That's what it feels like. I really hope it gets better.

Dr. Agarwal stayed awhile and we talked along time. Oh that feels so good when they stay and don't act rushed. I know he was double booked all day. That's so meaningful when you put so much trust in there hands, and they acknowledge it, you feel like a priority. I had a lot of questions about the next step. I'm wearing a expander inside my chest that will stretch the skin and muscle by filling it with water to accommodate the new breast. He thinks I need about 3 more fills to the expander, 3 weeks apart . So getting a new breast is about 9 weeks from now. I'm guessing.

I didn't realize, or even think about how different my sensation would be after surgery. I don't feel anything now. I know it would have been different with the lumpectomy because I would still have sensation. But the radiation would have screwed the skin integrity. I know I made the right decision. I just didn't realize that it would be so numb. I'm mourning the loss. I just realized that's okay.

Ann, my photographer, came into the docs appointment again. Shes so great she showers me with more gifts, I book about cancer etiquette-what to say to someone who is recently diagnosed. Obviously due to my "the crazy things people say" post and a cute little breast cancer bear dressed in pink scrubs. Shes always giving me things. Every visit. Shes such a great advocate. We talk about my radio active die shot experience before surgery. Was that pain really necessary? I was 30 seconds away from dream land state, they could have waited. At the time I was mentally prepared for the surgery and then came in the needles and Whammmm! Total body shock. Slam to the soul. I had to readjust immediately to get back in surgery mode. It was too hard after being assaulted. Then off you go, your trust wavering. I wanted that time to say good bye to mentally prepare. I suggested they let us avoid that experience while awake.
We talk about strategies to let Dr. Neumayer and others know that probably could be handled a different way. It still adore Dr. Neumayer. Will love her forever. She made this cancer doable. I felt her assurance that this would not be so bad the moment I met her. She truly and expert. When she told me the good news about no chemo she hugged me and didn't let go, not for awhile, even when I let up. That was beautiful.

I went grocery shopping today. While I was there I noticed that they were selling room fragrance in the shape of pink ribbon. Its crazy. I laugh because I notice more pink now and I understand why it is every where. Because everyone now knows someone close with breast cancer. Our Mothers, sisters, friends, colleagues, teachers.
I went to a card store because it our anniversary on the 13th and Robs birthday on the 20th so I need to buy cards, and I noticed on the counter they were selling books on hope for breast cancer survivors. I have that book I think. Is that really me, a survivor? Everything has been so fast. Its been 1 month and 10 days since I found out and everything is almost done. I feel so lucky, so blessed. Is it really over though? Most people ask me if I'm relieved that its over. Its not over. Hormone therapy will start soon and it will put me in early menopause and possible infertility. At 35. That sucks! I'm supposed to be at my sexual peak! I will have to take tamoxifen for 5 years and there a good chance that I wont be fertile when its over. My dreams of having my own 4 smart good looking kids feels far away. Also I have been reading about and meeting all this woman with recurrence. I think no way! After all that I'm doing? It will have some nerve comes back if it comes back. I definitely have to make changes things are going to be different. I want it to be. This was meant for me to work on my dreams.

Its a Yellow Flag day

Saturday I surprised my college buddy and director of the Cancer wellness house by attending their annual fundraiser and tribute to cancer survivors at the Snowbird ski resort. My friend Lara picked me up and we headed for 11,000 feet. It was so neat to see so many T-shirts with "Cancer is not for sissies" on the front. Then I saw Katie with tears in her eyes she embraced me fully. They provide a pancake breakfast and an adventure to honor our cancer survivors. Katie, after breaking away form the crowd came to use during breakfast and constraining her emotions told me how much more this event this year hit home when her close friends are being hit with cancer.

Lara and I bought yellow flags in the honor of people we know that have been effected by cancer I buy one for Marion, Robs mom, who died 2 years ago from lung and breast cancer and Cindy my sister. Lara buys one for her Grandma and aunt. Grandma died at 47 from breast cancer.


Some people hike from the Snowbird plaza to hidden peak at 11,000 feet. We take the tram. i played the just had surgery card. We ring the gong in every ones name to send out tones of love and then go find our flags. The skies are strung with yellow, and then I find 11 flags with my name on it. I honored, shocked. Is this me? Getting rid cancer? This is a little weird. A week out from the surgery, here I am with all the names of people who didn't make the fight or are still fighting. This day I sit there and honor them. I send out my prayers for them. I have it really good.


Thank you Katie's family in supporting me by your love. I know you were behind those beautiful flags and all the hours of volunteering to make that day so amazing.

See the Salt Lake Tribune article with a few quotes from your little Shauna. Its funny, they took a picture of me ringing the gong with my drain hanging out from under my "Catch it early" t shirt. Did'nt go in the paper though. You can also click the link to the right that says Salt Lake Tribune.
http://www.sltrib.com/ci_10155225?IADID=Search-www.sltrib.com-www.sltrib.com